What you both want.Without either of you having to say it first.
Most couples carry wishes they never say out loud – not because they are wrong, but because it is hard to be the first to say them. Let’s talk about sex asks the questions for you, separately, and shows only what you have both answered yes or maybe to.
This is your sheet
Once you have both answered, only the points you agree on remain — gathered by area, with an action plan for getting started.
Would you like to kiss more and for longer, without it necessarily leading to sex?
Both yesWould you like to make love for longer, without orgasm being the goal?
Both yesWould you like to make love at a different time of day than usual?
Both yesWould you like to show each other what you enjoy on your own, by hand?
Both curiousBegin here
- Choose one item from the “Both yes” list and make a concrete arrangement about it within the next seven days. Write down when.
- The obvious first choice is: Would you like to kiss more and for longer, without it necessarily leading to sex?
An example. Your own sheet is seen by the two of you alone, and disappears by itself after a few days.
This is what a question looks like
Three of the twenty. You answer for yourself, and your partner never sees what you chose — only what you agree on.
- Closeness
Would you like to kiss more and for longer, without it necessarily leading to sex?
YesMaybeNo - Openness
Would you like to say more explicitly what you want to do while you are being intimate?
YesMaybeNo - Sensuality
Would you like to try new positions?
YesMaybeNo
And seventeen more, from the everyday to what takes more trust.
How it works
Four steps. About ten minutes each.
Choose a level
Beginner, Medium or Advanced. The level determines how far the questions go.
Answer twenty questions
Yes, maybe or no. There are no right answers, and you can go back as you go.
Pass the link on
You receive a private link. Give it to your partner, however feels safest to you.
See your shared sheet
Once both of you have answered, only the points you agree on appear – with an action plan.
Why it works
Concrete subjects, a plan you can act on, and your own pace — without either of you having to go first.
- 03
You talk about something specific
Instead of “we should make more of an effort”, you get a list with names on it. Concrete subjects are far easier to discuss than vague hints.
- 05
A plan, not just a list
At the end you receive an action plan: what to do first, how to talk about it, and how to look after each other along the way.
- 04
The pace is yours
Three levels, from the close and everyday to what asks for more trust. You choose where to start – and you can always take another level later.
- 01
Nobody has to go first
You answer separately, without seeing each other’s replies. No one has to expose themselves first, and no one can feel steered by what the other has already said.
- 02
A no looks like a maybe
Your partner never sees what you answered — only what you agree on. A no and a maybe are indistinguishable from the outside, so saying no costs you nothing. That is what makes the answers honest.
- 06
Nothing is left behind
No account is created and no names are stored. Everything is deleted automatically after a few days – and you can delete it yourselves at any moment.
Discretion
Built to forget.
No account, no email, no name. Nothing is asked about who you are.
Answers are stored encrypted under a key that exists only inside your links. Without the link they cannot be read, by us or by anyone.
Only what you both answered identically is shown. Everything else is unreachable for both of you.
The link is a random, unguessable key. Without the link, the sheet does not exist.
Questions and answers
What is Let’s talk about sex?
A confidential questionnaire for two adults. You each answer twenty questions about intimacy and desire with yes, maybe or no. Afterwards only the items you both answered the same way are shown — along with an action plan for making them real.
Can my partner see what I answered?
No. Your partner sees only the items you agree on. A no and a maybe look exactly alike from the outside, which is what makes saying no cost nothing. If your partner said yes to something that does not appear, all they learn is that you did not also say yes — not whether you said maybe or no.
Is anything stored about us?
No account is created, and you are never asked for a name, an email address or a phone number. Answers are stored encrypted under a key that exists only inside your two links — without them nobody can read them, ourselves included. They are deleted automatically after a few days, and you can delete everything at once from the results page.
How long does it take, and do we have to be together?
About ten minutes each. You need not be in the same place or answer at the same time — you get a private link to pass to your partner, and the shared sheet appears once both of you have finished. You can stop partway and continue later.
What is the difference between the three levels?
Beginner stays close to home and to everyday life. Medium moves on to what takes a little more trust. Advanced holds the things few people raise on their own. You pick the level together, and you can always take another one later.
What you both want.
About ten minutes. You can stop along the way.
BeginFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.