Eyes open
Ten minutes of looking at each other instead of closing your eyes.
Why it works
For most people a look lands closer than touch, which is why it is the first thing to go once a couple have lived together a while. Ten minutes is short enough to bear and long enough to get past the uncomfortable part. The uncomfortable part arrives after about half a minute and passes again.
How to do it
- 01
Sit facing each other with your clothes on and hold the look for two minutes without speaking. After thirty seconds it gets uncomfortable. Stay where you are.
- 02
Then say one sentence each about what you have just seen. Not about yourself, about the other one.
- 03
Take it to bed the same evening: keep the eye contact at least at the start.
What usually goes wrong
Laughing is the way out, and it works. Agree that you stay seated after the first laugh. The sentence afterwards should be about the other person and not about yourself, or it becomes an apology instead of an observation.
A look becomes too much long before touch does. Agree that either of you may glance away without being asked why.
More in the same direction
- Beginner · Two hours
The long evening
An evening with nowhere to get to, bed included.
- Beginner · Twenty minutes
Say it out loud
Three sentences, said aloud, that otherwise never get said.
- Beginner · One week
Who starts
A week where it is settled who brings it up, and it is not whoever usually does.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.