The long evening
An evening with nowhere to get to, bed included.
Why it works
Most sex has a direction. You roughly know where it ends, so everything in between moves a little faster than it needs to. Two hours with no destination takes the direction away. What is left is touch that is not preparation for something else, and for many couples that is the first time in years they find out what they actually like.
How to do it
- 01
Put the phones in another room and set aside two hours you both know will hold.
- 02
Touch each other without it having to lead anywhere. Swap after twenty minutes.
- 03
Stop when you want to, including before you get any further.
What usually goes wrong
The phones come back after twenty minutes. Put them in another room, not face down on the bedside table. The other thing that happens is that one of you starts waiting for it to turn into real sex, and then the whole evening is a waiting room. Say out loud once more that it is not going to. If you fall asleep, it worked.
Agree beforehand that it is entirely fine if the evening ends with the two of you simply falling asleep.
More in the same direction
- Beginner · One week
Who starts
A week where it is settled who brings it up, and it is not whoever usually does.
- Beginner · Thirty minutes
Show me with your hand
You stop guessing. One of you shows, the other watches.
- Beginner · One working day
Three messages before six
The evening starts at eleven in the morning.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.