More than two
The part of a third person that happens before anybody is invited.
Why it works
Most of what goes wrong with a third person goes wrong before anybody is invited. Written separately it becomes obvious that you rarely mean the same thing, and that is easier to find on paper than in a hallway. The practical side belongs to the same conversation, not to the evening.
How to do it
- 01
Write separately, without conferring, what each of you may and may not do, with the third person, and with each other while they are there. Compare. Where the two papers disagree is the whole of the work.
- 02
Settle the practical questions in plain words, in advance and not at the door: testing and protection, who says stop on whose behalf, where the third person sleeps, and how the evening ends if one of you has had enough.
- 03
Meet them the first time with clothes on and nothing planned. Somebody who cannot hear a rule over a cup of coffee will not hear it later either.
What usually goes wrong
The rules get said in the doorway, and the third person has no chance of hearing them properly. Meet with your clothes on first and with nothing planned. The third person is not equipment and can be hurt as easily as the two of you, so a stop from any one of the three applies immediately.
The third person is not equipment, and can be hurt by this as easily as either of you. Agree that a stop from any one of the three ends it for all three, and that jealousy turning up the next morning is information, not a breach of the agreement.
What has actually been measured about it is sourced in the encyclopedia of sex facts.
More in the same direction
- Medium · An evening, and a week after it
The third name
You talk about a third person. Nothing happens.
- Advanced · Two hours, and fifteen minutes a month
Written down
Your agreements on paper, so they cannot be misremembered.
- Advanced · Two evenings and three months
The trial period
An open arrangement with an end date, not a door simply left ajar.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.