The trial period
An open arrangement with an end date, not a door simply left ajar.
Why it works
An open arrangement with no end date becomes a door nobody dares close. Three months with a date at each end make it possible to say yes without saying yes forever. That it ends by itself is the most important thing in the whole recipe.
How to do it
- 01
Each write down what you need in place to take part: who is out of bounds, where it may happen, how often, and exactly what you want to be told afterwards, and what you do not. Swap the sheets and write the shared version on one page.
- 02
Set a start date at least a week away and an end date three months after that. Nobody contacts anybody before the start date, not even a profile quietly set up.
- 03
Put three evenings in the calendar along the way to talk about it, whether or not anything has happened. On the end date the arrangement lapses by itself, and you decide again from scratch.
What usually goes wrong
The week before the start date gets spent looking, messaging or setting up a profile, and then it has already begun. Hold the date. The three evenings in the calendar also get skipped when nothing has happened, and that is exactly when they are easiest to keep.
A yes given yesterday does not carry over to tomorrow. If one of you says stop mid-period, it stops that day, without negotiation and without a reason being owed.
What has actually been measured about it is sourced in the encyclopedia of sex facts.
More in the same direction
- Medium · An evening, and a week after it
The third name
You talk about a third person. Nothing happens.
- Advanced · Two hours, and fifteen minutes a month
Written down
Your agreements on paper, so they cannot be misremembered.
- Medium · Half an hour
The agreement first
The half hour that makes the rest possible.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.