Written down
Your agreements on paper, so they cannot be misremembered.
How to do it
- 01
Write three headings on a sheet: "yes", "maybe, if" and "no". Fill them in separately, in different rooms, without looking.
- 02
Put the two sheets side by side. Talk only about the places where they differ — the rest you already agree on, and it is quicker to skip.
- 03
Write the shared version out clean, and set a date a month away to read it again. A "maybe" moves, and a "no" is allowed to move the other way too.
A no on the paper needs no reason, and it is not up for negotiation because it is written. The paper is an aid to memory — not a contract anyone can be held to.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.