Out among others
You go to one place where other people are part of it, and you touch nobody the first time.
Why it works
A first time at a place like that is about feeling what it is like, not about doing anything. The rule about only looking removes every decision on the spot, which is why the evening can actually be judged afterwards. The signal you agree on is for whoever does not want to say anything out loud.
How to do it
- 01
The day before, agree three things: that you are only looking this time, how much you drink, and one signal, a word, a hand on the back, that means we leave now, with nobody having to explain why.
- 02
Stay together all evening. Neither of you leaves the room without the other, and nothing is agreed to on the spot that was not agreed at home.
- 03
Talk about it the next day, not in the car on the way home. Each name one thing that surprised you and one thing you do not want again.
What usually goes wrong
The alcohol. It is what turns a no you agreed at home into a yes inside the room. Agree the amount in advance and stick to it. Do not discuss the evening in the car on the way home either. Wait until the next day.
A yes said inside the room does not cancel a no you agreed at home. Alcohol is exactly what makes that rule hard to keep, which is why the amount is settled beforehand.
More in the same direction
- Medium · An evening, and a week after it
The third name
You talk about a third person. Nothing happens.
- Beginner · Twenty minutes
Say it out loud
Three sentences, said aloud, that otherwise never get said.
- Medium · Half an hour
The agreement first
The half hour that makes the rest possible.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.