Said while it happens
One of you says out loud what is happening, and what happens next.
Why it works
Saying it out loud as it happens does two things at once: one of you stops having to guess what is coming, and the other hears their own voice say something it has never said. The discomfort after a couple of minutes is expected. The ten minutes after the discomfort are where the difference is.
How to do it
- 01
Decide who talks tonight. The other says nothing beyond yes and no.
- 02
Whoever talks uses the plainest words you have, not the politer ones. Say what you are doing now, and what you are doing after.
- 03
Keep going for at least ten minutes after it has turned awkward. Those ten minutes are the whole recipe.
What usually goes wrong
The words come out more polite than they need to be, and then it sounds like a reading. Use the plainest words you have. Agree in advance on two words that are not to be used about the body. It is easier to name them with your clothes on than to take them back afterwards.
Agree in advance on two words that are not to be used about the body. It is easier to name them with your clothes on than to take them back afterwards.
More in the same direction
- Beginner · Twenty minutes
Say it out loud
Three sentences, said aloud, that otherwise never get said.
- Medium · One hour
The long tease
Everything that usually goes quickly, done at half the speed.
- Medium · Half an hour
The agreement first
The half hour that makes the rest possible.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.