The day after
An aftercare written down once, so nobody has to invent it afterwards.
How to do it
- 01
Each write down five things you know help you afterwards: a blanket, something sweet, being held, ten minutes alone, not having to talk. Put the note somewhere it can be found without being remembered.
- 02
Follow the list after every scene, including when it seems unnecessary. No phones, no debriefing, nothing that has to be decided that evening.
- 03
Set a fixed time the next day — a lunch, a walk — to go through it: what worked, what did not, and what should be different next time.
The dip usually arrives a day later, and it lands on whoever ran the scene as often as on whoever let go. Agree beforehand who messages whom the following day, and do it even when you are both fine.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.