The question hour
An evening where you only talk. Nothing has to follow.
Why it works
Once it is settled that the evening does not end in sex, the questions change. Nobody has to work out what an answer leads to, so things can be said that would otherwise sound like an order being placed. The hour is preparation for everything else on the list, not an alternative to it.
How to do it
- 01
Set aside an hour and say out loud that the evening will not end in sex. That is not a rule against anything, it is what makes the rest sayable.
- 02
Take turns asking one question at a time. Whoever answers decides how much to say, and "I would rather not answer that" is a complete answer.
- 03
Finish by each naming one thing you would like to try within a month.
What usually goes wrong
The promise is usually broken by the person who asked the question. One hand in the wrong place at the end is all it takes to make the next time harder. Stick to what you said. If an answer hurts, take it up the next day in daylight, not the same evening when you are both tired.
If something still sits heavily afterwards, pick it up again the next day in daylight. Not the same evening.
More in the same direction
- Beginner · Twenty minutes, and a week
The good no
You settle what a no sounds like, so that saying one costs nothing.
- Beginner · Two hours
The long evening
An evening with nowhere to get to, bed included.
- Beginner · Twenty minutes
Say it out loud
Three sentences, said aloud, that otherwise never get said.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.