The exact words
You find out which words work and which ones kill it, before anybody says them in the dark.
Why it works
Words that work for one person can end the evening for the other, and there is no guessing your way to it. Two short lists, written without talking it over, give you the answer in twenty minutes. Three words used the same evening is enough. A whole vocabulary at once sounds like a script.
How to do it
- 01
Each write two short lists on paper, without conferring: words you want said to you, and words that would end the evening on the spot.
- 02
Swap the papers and read without commenting. A word on the other one’s second list does not have to be defended, and it does not get used.
- 03
Use three from the first list that evening, out loud. Three is enough, a whole vocabulary learned at once sounds like a script.
What usually goes wrong
A word on the other person's no list gets defended, and then the list is worthless. It is not up for discussion. Agree as well that nothing from the lists is used outside the room. A word that is good in bed is poison in an argument.
A word that is fine in bed can be poison in an argument. Agree that nothing from either list is ever repeated outside the room, least of all when one of you is angry.
More in the same direction
- Beginner · Twenty minutes
Say it out loud
Three sentences, said aloud, that otherwise never get said.
- Kinky · One evening
One exact thing
You take one particular thing and do it properly, instead of five things halfway.
- Medium · Forty minutes
Watched
One of you touches yourself. The other may look, and not touch.
What you both want.
Twenty questions, answered separately. You see only what you both said yes to.
Take the questionnaireFor adults over 18 only. Intended for two adults in a consenting relationship.